literature

BBC Sherlock Holmes and BBT

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Literature Text

D.I. Lestrade and Donovan burst in through the front door of 221B Baker Street early that morning, slightly perturbed that the door had not been locked.  Knowing Sherlock Holmes's many enemies, an unlocked door was more or less an invitation to the less-than-lawful population of London.  But that wasn't the main concern just now.  There had been a bloody, horrifying murder that demanded the expertise only Holmes could provide objectively.

"Holmes!" Lestrade called out.  "We have a case for you; are you coming?"

"Detective Inspector," Sherlock said coolly, popping out from behind the couch.  "No need to shout.  I'll be along shortly."  He was slurring his words slightly and twitched between every four or five words.

"Uhh, Freak?  Are you off your medication or did you finally just crack outright?" Donovan asked.

"Brilliant insult, Donovan.  Certainly not one you've made before, oh goodness, no."

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," John said, trotting downstairs and scooping up the morning paper from the counter in the kitchen.

Sherlock began to protest, "That is demonstrably untrue-"

"Have you been up all night?"

"Is it morning?" he asked with some surprise.

"Yes."

"Then yes, I have been up all night."

Lestrade and Donovan looked to each other, not a little spooked.  They needed Sherlock at his very best just now, and anything less would cast doubt upon him and his judgment, especially in court before a jury.  He'd be discredited and his expert testimonial would be thrown out in an instant if the court knew he'd been sleep-deprived and visibly disturbed (well, more than usual) at the time his observations were made.

"Detective Inspector?" John asked.

"Yes?"

"How badly do you need him right now?"

"Not so badly that he can't get some bloody sleep," Lestrade said.

"I don't need sleep!" Sherlock protested.

"Sherlock," John sighed, "what happens to our neural receptors when we don't get enough REM sleep?"

Sherlock's face became grave and serious.  "…They lose their sensitivity to serotonin and norepinephrine," he said.

"Which leads to…?"

"Impaired cognitive function," Sherlock whispered with abject horror at the very thought.

"Right.  So you march in there," John gestured to the bathroom, "brush your teeth, and go to bed."

"But I don't wanna go to bed," Sherlock whined childishly.

John breathed deeply.  "Okay, I'm going to count to three.  One…"

"Oh, alright," he hissed, and scurried off.

Lestrade and Donovan stood off to the side, eyes wide with disbelief.  "That was amazing," Lestrade said.

John merely smiled.  "I know how to work with stubborn children.  My mother used to run an illegal daycare center in our basement.  Come back in five or six hours and I'll have him up and running."
Why? I don't rightly know. I was reading this: [link] and was automatically reminded strongly of the scene in Big Bang Theory when Sheldon hasn't slept in two or three days and Bernadette gets him to go to bed. So, yes, most of the dialogue in this is filched from that episode, and some of it is also stolen from the comments on Dr. John Watson's blog. Hey, I never claimed to be particularly original.

Why am I doing so much fiction and not enough art? Because of my stupid fritzing tablet. Hopefully, I'll get that software disc replaced soon. And then I will be drawing Sherlock stuff PROPERLY. Grr.

This is a piece in which I am not particularly put off if the characterisation is off. It's not meant to be perfect.

Characters (c) A.C. Doyle and Steven Moffat, although technically nowadays they are public domain, idk
Sheldon and Bernadette's dialogue (c) Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady
© 2010 - 2024 Nadeshiko-tenshi
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MecrandiFoxlight's avatar
I've practically memorized this, but it's still just as funny every time!